How to Reclaim Your Confidence and Live Your Best Life!

In today's highly competitive mortgage industry, building profitable relationships with the real estate agents is essential for success. However, finding effective ways to secure agent relationships can be a challenge. With so many mortgage loan originators vying for the attention of real estate agents, it can be difficult to stand out and establish meaningful connections. Our new case study featuring loan officer Chris Cogill is a must-read. Chris has closed a remarkable 36 million in funded loans from agent referrals. And in this case study, he shares his proven strategies for building strong relationships with real estate agents and leveraging those relationships to drive more business. To get your hands on this resource, head over to LOKestudy.com and download your free copy of the case study today. You'll find actionable insights and practical tips that Chris used to close 36 million in funded loans from agent referrals and how you can, too. Don't miss out. Go check it out right now. Visit LOKestudy.com and download your free copy today. For a post of mortgage marketing radio podcast where we help loan officers get more agent referrals so they can become the go-to lender in their market. How do we do that? We help originators implement a proven system for closing more loans without having a cold call. Agents pay for leads, chase, beg, borrow and talk to agents who don't want to talk to you. We lead with education. We deliver relevant content that agents want to learn more about so that we can attract the right agents to us and be in control of the conversations that lead to conversions and relationships. You can learn more at mortgagemarketing.pro if you want to check it out. You've obviously heard me talking about it by now, sharing some of the success stories here. I've got to share one from one of our power users, longtime member Liz LaFore, shout out what's up. Liz is doing a class truth about VA loans, 57 registered, Instagram, part one, 40 registered, Instagram, part two, 12 registered. She says don't underestimate the power of teaching classes. Folks, don't underestimate the power of a personal brand when it comes to you being chosen. Why should a local realtor choose you? Beyond the basics of your professional, you respond in a timely manner. You got good rates, good product service, right? You've heard it all before. Why else should I choose to work with you? We need a sharper edge competitive advantage in today's market and I will debate anyone anytime, anywhere that there is no more competitive advantage than helping others get what they want by being a higher and greater service value. Just like you probably heard on the previous podcast episode, if you've not yet listened to it, my interview with Wally Ellibary who produced 200 million plus in funding in 2022, he talks a lot about how he has taken ownership of becoming a coach for mega teams, real estate agents. Yes, teaching classes, delivering relevant content that helps them in their business. That's how he did it. Make sure you listen to that episode if you haven't. So this week, what are we talking about? I am thrilled to bring this conversation to you, a conversation that's near and dear to my heart. Do you ever struggle with confidence? Does that, do you have doubts, fears getting in the way of whether you take action or not, whether you follow through? Are doubts and fears getting in the way of your happiness and success? Well, today's conversation is all about empowering confidence in you and helping you be more confident. My special guest is Netta Lena. She is the founder and CEO of Rise Up for You, a number one best selling author, leadership and career confidence coach, and two times TEDx motivational speaker. She's toured the world as a singer. She has a master's degree in executive leadership. She's coached and mentored over 50,000 individuals around the world on self-improvement, career strategy and soft skills. Her company Rise Up has been featured worldwide, work with such brand as CBS, Google, various Fortune 500 companies, and a tons of small businesses in over 50 countries. She's been awarded 40 under 40 professionals in my old hometown of Orange County, California. We have an influence for entrepreneurship in 2021, keynote speaker award for the Lebanese Collegiate Network, and more and more and more. Look, confidence I think is something that at some point in our lives we all struggle with at varying degrees, and I am sharing with you that I have struggled with that as well in posture syndrome, call it whatever you want. And so the conversation today with Netta dives deep into how we can be more confident, how we can take ownership of our power, enhancing our emotional intelligence and communication skills so we can be more confident, transform our lives that is enjoying. Let's get into this week's show. Netta, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for having me. It's an honor to be here. It's an honor to have you. And I'm really looking forward to this conversation based on the previous chat we had. So for those who aren't aware of you, long she tell us who are you. What do you do? Yeah. Thank you. So I'm the CEO and founder of Rise Up For You, two time TEDx speaker, number one best selling author, and my organization gets the great honor of working with companies and individuals around the world who are in 50 countries, helping them with soft skills. So all things human skills, emotional intelligence, confidence, leadership, communication, really what I like to call the power skills, the most important skills we need. Mm. Power skills. And when you and I talked earlier, we connected on this idea of confidence. Yeah. And I was doing a little research prior to this and this is why I think this is such a great conversation. Why don't we start with this? First of all, why do many, if not most, of us struggle with confidence at some level? Yeah, that's a great question. So actually, let me just give you a little bit of statistics before we jump into that. My company, about a year ago today, 2021, my company, Rise Up For You, we asked 2000 working professionals, so not for a load of people that were in the workforce actively working with their number one challenge was 83% of self confidence. That is a huge number, that their number one challenge is self confidence. So things that fall under that perfectionist mindset, imposter syndrome, not feeling enough, self doubt that cripples the ability to take action. So it sabotages them. So that's a huge number. So now if you think about it, if you own a company, you run a company or you're a professional in a company, imagine what that can do to communication, your ability to sell the clients, your ability just to take forward action and be your best. So just staggering that number, and that's why I wrote a whole book on it, because I think that as a society now answering your question, we've really been taught the wrong definition of what confidence is. Most of us our entire life has been built to build what I call or have been taught to build what I call micro confidence, and I talk about this in my book. Micro confidence meaning that we've been taught to build confidence in categories or competencies. I think about it when you go to K through 12 school, you go to university, you build confidence in a skill, right, or an area, I'm confident in math, I'm confident in PE history, whatever it is. But we're never really taught to build what I call macro confidence, which is confidence in your belief and ability to learn confidence to move forward and take action, even despite not knowing all the skills, right, and inner belief that you are enough simply because you exist and everything else you can learn. The challenge is that because we've been taught this opposite way, most individuals, they grow up defining themselves based off of these external things, your job, your title, your degree, your certificate, and the challenges is those things aren't sustainable. So when something like a pandemic happens, or when you lose someone or you go through a divorce or you lose your job or whatever, and those external things fall away, let's talk about artificial intelligence that's coming and half of our degrees aren't going to matter in 10 years from now, when all those things go away, our self identity and our self confidence also comes crashing down because we built it on all of these things. And that's why so many of us struggle with confidence because we've been taught the wrong way, not to mention our childhood, right, and our past experiences that have either validated or taken away the thoughts about ourselves, whether they're positive or negative. All right, I like that. And I know there's another part to the confidence puzzle, but before we go there, it made me really curious as listening to you as to why this is your mission and purpose, passion. Why is helping the world become more confident? Well, you know, your thing, you know, yeah, it's a good question. No one's ever asked me that one. Get at it early here. Yeah, you know what, ever since I can remember, even when I was in high school, I always had this mentality, if I can do it, how can you can't do it? Like even with my friends in class, right, like, well, I just did this, you can do it too. Like there was always like, hey, we could do it, like tapping into your potential, really. And so my big question in life was always, you know, how come people aren't using their potential, right? So the behavior is that they're not using their potential, they're not taking action, they're not moving forward. So my question was always, what's the cause of that behavior? And after being a performer, I toured around the world internationally as a singer, doing musical theater. And I always say that I used to walk in tune with hundreds of amazing singers. And I was always the best performer. I always got the center stage spot, but I was never the best singer. So you see they had better technique than me. Some of them had celebrity parents that were musicians like since the 19, early 1900s, like amazing. And yet I was always center stage and they weren't tapping into their potential. And then I went on and I became an executive and I had 200 people under me when I was 27. And all these amazing people with PhDs and master's degrees, they still weren't tapping into their potential, right? Their behavior wasn't forward moving, they weren't taking action. So what's behind that behavior? And I started doing research and having conversations and coaching even before I built this company, right? Just free, just like mentoring. And it always came down to this not feeling enough in a lack of self-confidence. And that's when I realized in my late 20s, I was like, this is a problem. I saw it as a performer, saw it when I was in high school, I see it as an executive and something's got to be done because it's a big problem for most challenges today. So you're saying you had more confidence than others in those situations? I'm saying that I've been blessed with an amazing childhood that validated myself worth and self-love and taught me how to have that at a young age. And I think that because there's a lot of confidence crushers, okay? So there's things that crushed your confidence. There's two schools of thought. Some people say you're born with confidence, okay? Either you have it or you don't. And other people say, no, you're not born with confidence, you build confidence. And I'm right in the middle, I believe it's both. I believe that you're born with confidence when you think about babies, when you think about children, like they're limitless in their mind. They come into this world and they just do whatever they want. They say whatever they want. But then that nurture side starts to take over, right? The parenting, your childhood, going to school, friends, teachers, you can't do this. Who said you're good enough for that? And then little before you know, your confidence starts to diminish. So we say that there's a couple of confidence crushers. One is your childhood, you're upbringing, okay? Another is society, right? Social stigma, also culture, right? We say that romance is a confidence crusher. It's in its own category because it sparks different chemicals in you, right? And then for a very, very, very, very small percentage of genetic, but that's a very small percentage according to research. So all of those things impact how you feel about yourself and everybody's dealt with a different cart, right? Different cards. So for me, I was blessed enough that I was dealt with some really great cards early on. I was born into a family where my parents were amazing and they always taught my brothers and I to love ourselves. That was like the number one thing and we were never below anybody and we were never above anyone. Like we're all humans, we're all be kind and always love yourself and always push your potential. We even taught that early, early on. And so that kind of existed in me already and so when I went through some trauma and hard things in my life, in my head, I was already like, no, that's not true because my whole life I've taught this other thing. So that's a belief I can't accept, it's not my belief. What would be an example of, if you can, as a parent, how you could instill the confidence in a child, and I know it varies based on age, but I want to make sure it's like, you know, where you don't cross over into delusion, you know what I mean? That's a good question. Yeah, and I'm not a parent, right? So I'm speaking from my own experience of a child that has parents, right? That had parents, both of my parents unfortunately passed away. But the one thing that I remember about my parents that I think was special is that they taught my brothers and I to have confidence for ourselves. It was never get good grades because of A, B, C, and D, right? Then you're going to go to college and you're going to get a good job and the boss is going to validate you love it was never because of that. I remember my dad would always say, I remember one time in particular, I was in high school and I brought home an A minus. And my dad was, my dad was an immigrant. He came from Lebanon with $20 in his pocket. He worked three jobs like poor, came from nothing to work his way up. So I remember I brought home an A minus and he was like, shoe, that means what, Arabic, what's this A minus? My dad, that A minus is pretty good. It's like, but why not the A plus? I'm like, well, A minus is great. He's like, but do you have the ability in yourself to get the A plus? Yeah. Well, then why did you sell yourself short? Why didn't you push your ability and get the A plus? And I just remember thinking that and like, well, yeah, why didn't I put my best foot forward if I knew I really could get it? If I could do it, why didn't I? It was never about like the greater the validation. It was just like, if it's in you, why don't you use it? And that's what my parents taught us that I think was really special, opposed to doing things because maybe of cultural stigma or society or whatever, right? Or getting these accolades. It was never a thing of you need to be good for these people. It was always be good for you because at the end of the day, you have to put your own head on the pillow at night. And that's what they always taught us. It was about doing the best that you could do. Doing the best that you can do. And it really served us. And I saw this a lot and I talk about this when I was a performer. I remember going on tour with 50 people at a time, right? Each tour was about three and a half months long, 50 people on a cast. And when the two directors that created the show and casted the tours, they only came out for about two weeks out of the tour. You wouldn't believe how many people, I would say about 45 out of 50 people on that tour, the other 10 weeks, they were mediocre. They didn't put their best foot forward. The day those directors got on tour because they knew that they were now being watched and that they would potentially be casted for the next tour, it was like, boom, a whole new level of performance, a whole new level of showing up. And I would always be so frustrated with, where did that come from? Where is that the other 10 weeks of the tour when we were performing? Why all of a sudden is it out now? It's because they wanted to be validated by the directors. They wanted to get recasted for a show. It wasn't for them in being their best. It was because there was something else that they wanted. Hmm, wow. All right, I'm going to put a pin in that for a moment because I want to go back to the report card or that example. Yeah. What would, and maybe this did happen, but how about if you had come home with a B, but you said, but I tried my best. Yeah, I mean, my parents were always very understanding in that way. But the thing is is that, and this is why I think it's so important as parents is we can't always see what we have in ourselves. And that's why my parents were amazing because they were like your personal board, right? And even now I have my own personal board. Even now with all the work that I do, I can't see my full potential. I push myself as much as I can. And then there's always that outside person that's like, I think you can go a little bit more or there's something in you that you can't see in you that then continues to push you. So the great thing about my parents as well that also like the confidence was communication. Like they were very good at communicating with us, even though it wasn't easy, like it was challenging for my dad as a Middle Eastern man to communicate, but he had a growth mindset, right? And so there was always, if I looked at him and I was like, no, I don't understand that. Then he would try to re-explain it, right? So it wasn't a my way of the highway situation? It was sometimes, because they taught us to have confidence, then the older we got, he'd be like, no, I don't like that answer, right? Like tell me, give me a reason. Yes, yes, yes, and then sooner or later, he was like, okay, like I can't give that answer. Let's have a conversation. And that's how it kind of evolved. Interesting, that's cool. Thank you for kind of going, going that, because there's a lot of people who are parents, and then we understand. But I do think, like, and this is really interesting is, I hear these stories of like these parents who put the pressure on their kids to perform. Yeah. Not for the kid. Bingo. For the parents. Bingo. Is there living vicariously, or this is about like you're representing us? Yeah. I've heard that line set a few times. When you go out into the world, you're not just representing you, you're representing our family. So I need you to perform, and that could just be behave, comply, whatever. Yeah. And that never sat with me well, because I was always like, no, I get it. But I'm actually here just for me, you know what I mean? Like whatever I do, if that has a reflection on you, correct me if I'm wrong, that's more about how you're perceiving it. 100%. 100%. You're absolutely right. And that, and I'm grateful for my parents every day because they didn't come from that place. They didn't come from that place at all, even if they didn't agree with us. Like when I became a performer, my dad was like, why? That'd go be a doctor. Oh yeah. You know, go and be a lawyer because I had really good grades. And I was like, no, you taught me to be confident and love myself. And this is what I want to do. And this is what I'm going to do. And I did and he accepted it. And then he would start coming to my shows, he went to every show, same thing. He'd be like, you're saying really amazing, but I think you can hold that note longer. Try it next time. And then I would try it and I would hold it longer. And he'd be like, that was amazing. So it was, it was an evolution. And like I said, I'm grateful for it. And that's something that's a big contributor for people's confidence, for sure. Yeah, let's go back to confidence because I think it's something, we all struggle with to some degree. Like we said at the beginning, some much more than others. I know you talk about imposter syndrome. Look at my notes here. Imposter syndrome affects South, South, doubt, which then affects our potential, right? Yeah, yeah, all of the above. And is the imposter syndrome amplified more today because of social media? I think it's amplified more today because there's language around it. Like 10 years ago, that word imposter syndrome, no one ever heard of it. What is that? Yeah, exactly. And I think it's just recently, maybe like the last year or two years, that there's a language that's put to it. And so people can now identify it. They're like, oh, I feel that way. So I must have imposter syndrome, right? Which by the way, I really want to clarify because this is often misconstrued. Everything that I'm talking about, imposter syndrome, perfectionist mindset, it's across the board with genders. And it's also across the board with industries and job role and title, right? So it's not entry level position. It's not just women. I talk to a lot of men that struggle with imposter syndrome. Perfectionist mindset. It's across the board. We just often hear a narrative that's more towards women, but it's everyone. And that imposter syndrome of feeling like you've been put into a role or you're doing something but maybe you don't deserve it. Maybe you don't add value. Someone's going to find out that you're a fraud. Someone's going to find out that you shouldn't be in that position and they're going to catch you, right? First, I'm feeling that you don't deserve to be where you are. Again, there's that self-confidence, right? That you're not enough to be there. Am I good enough, yeah? Am I good enough, right? It's so funny you say that because I think in the context of business and so a lot of our listeners are, you know, quote, self-employed business owners, if you will, like that, it is based on performance. Number one, we are kind of judged on how successfully we execute our outcome, right? Which is to sell the house, to close the loan on time, whatever. And so it is a lot of performance based. And is that okay? Like that that's part of the equation for how you succeed in this role? Performance. Yeah. I think it has to be, right? Because I think that, you know, especially as an entrepreneur or being self-employed, really say those kind of things, there are benchmarks, right? That goes back to what you were saying about being delusional. That's not, we can't live in a world where there's not benchmarks and we can't measure our results, right? But what I can tell you is that the self-confidence and how you feel about yourself in integrity and those human skills, they'll drive performance much higher, right? Because again, it's not, and, you know, selling a house is one thing, but being confident enough to self-promote and be confident that you're gonna be able to get that deal done, that you're gonna be able to build these relationships. It's a whole new level, the way that you show up, right? Giving confidence in the client that you're gonna get it done. All of those things are different common denominators that make people say, I'm gonna work with you. And I always talk about this, you know, being seen, being heard and being relevant in a world where there's millions of real estate agents. There's millions of people that do what I do. There's millions of coaches like every single industry is inundated, right? Meaning that the person next door is probably doing the same thing, but it's those power skills and in particular, the confidence and making people trust and feel the confidence in you that's gonna get them say, I think this person's the one, they're gonna get it done, right? They're gonna be loyal, they're gonna be committed to me. They build relationships, they're kind, they have integrity, all of those things that move past the technical skill. Well, how do we convey that more effectively? It starts from within I assume, right? It starts with within, it starts with person pressions how you show up, that's a big one. That's a big one that often because, you know, that's, I would say like the shallow confidence, is like, if I'm just looking at you, what's the energy and aura that I get, right? How do I show up? We know according to research within a 10th of a second, someone makes a judgment about you, right? So if you're a real estate agent and let's say you crush it, but you show up in slippers, not really dressed for the occasion, you're slouched over, maybe you're more timid, you're not gonna have that same feeling as a person that walks in that looks really put together that walks up to that says, hi, my name is Ned, it's an honor for me to represent you. Let's go find that best house for you. Automatically you're like, ah, let's go. So what if somebody's newer in their role or they're up against somebody who's got more experience per se, right? How, what are some of the things we could do to feel more confident? You know, I don't like the whole fake it to your make it thing, but what are some of the things we could do to feel more confident if we are, right? Kind of struggling with that. I would say maybe just a little bit more research, right? So that when you are in a space, you know what you're talking about, right? You know, get some results. Yeah, and just like, you know, when I first started building this business, for example, you know, I was confident as a person, but something that I did to be even more confident is I studied a lot and I researched so that when I hopped on a call or I did a podcast and they asked a question, I had the tools to respond, right? I had the tools even today as a keynote speaker. You'd be surprised you offer, maybe you wouldn't be. How many keynotes will say I won't do Q&A? Because they want to go up there and they just want to do like the PowerPoint or whatever they scripted. And I'm the opposite. I'm like, I won't do a keynote unless you give me time to do Q&A because I need the audience to know that I can think off the top of my head and that I've researched things that I can do in real time, just like this podcast, right? Like we didn't script this out. Because we're confident on our topic, which, all right. So let me then ask you about in this world of social media, you're obviously looking to build a brand and expand your reach on social as I'm sure you're well aware, especially when you get in the 40 plus age group, the confidence there seems to drop off big time because in the 40, this is what I've seen personally working with a lot of people who are in that age group who are like real estate agents, mortgage professionals, showing up in person, face to face, cool, confident as hell. You make me hold this thing up and record a video? Whoa, like my confidence goes down. Yeah. You have experienced that? Seeing it? I've seen it in my clients. Yeah, but see that's, there's something, there's in a belief around doing video, right? And there's a belief around when I put this out there, what are people going to say? What if it's not perfect? Yeah, I'd human. Judgment. That's the belief that, like with my clients, I'm like, you've got to break that. You just put on the camera. I always say like, just think that you're adding value to someone that's right in front of you. This camera, you're just adding value to it, right? Don't think of the camera as, I'm going to back to go on video and it's got to be perfect. Just turn on the video and pretend that there's somebody on the other side, maybe it's the client and you're like, listen, here's one strategy I'm going to share with you today that's going to really make an impact and then talk. You know, don't get into your head about like, I'm going on video because then that's when people are like, they're going to judge me. What if it's not perfect? What if they start looking at my videos and thinking like, who is this person and influencer? These are the things that I hear all the time from my clients, right? Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are doing these videos and animation? And I always say just come from a place of value. Just you're going to get on camera and you're just going to add value because people need what you have. And if they're not an expert in real estate or mortgage, trust me, they really need what you have because they don't know this space, right? And especially right now, there's a lot going on. So I mean, you can go watch some of my videos on social media. Sometimes I step up on a word or I say the wrong word or I say I'm and I don't delete it. I just put it out there. I'm like, this is all I think that just take it, right? And that's it. It's not about perfection, it's about progress. Mm, that's a good one. That's a good one. You referenced earlier about doing the research, right? Getting information. And what I wrote down a couple of things is that you'll be rewarded in public for what you do in private. Assuming it's good things, right? So by keeping it on the right line here, is this made me think of like when the research and having knowledge and for those that are listening, like it'll give you the context of this. You've obviously seen there's been a shift in the real estate market, things have gone kind of bananas. And there's a lot of people who have been able to do well because of the market, yet they don't have the depth of knowledge to use your word research or information to now show up confidently. Yeah. Makes sense? Yeah. And I think it's got to be a combination of both. I think that if all you have is research and technical skill, it's not enough. I always say that you can have all the knowledge in the world, but if you don't activate that knowledge, it's pointless. It does nothing for you, right? Now on the flip side, okay, here's where it's important. You can have no skill, but a lot of confidence. And in some ways, you can go further faster because if you have the right confidence, which is that macro confidence, which is growth mindset, you believe in your ability to learn, you're confident enough to build those skills that then makes you like a solid package, right? So I always talk about myself as a business owner. I had that macro confidence that I talk about in the beginning of the interview. But I didn't know how to build a business. My master's in leadership, executive leadership. I didn't go to school for building a business. I didn't know anything about building a website, none of that. But I had the macro confidence to say, but I believe I can learn it. I can learn how to build a website. I can learn how to build a podcast. I can learn how to build a business. I can research and study and figure out what the world needs right now. And then I built a business with $100 with no business degree. And today we're in over 50 countries. So you see that macro confidence helped me build the micro confidence. So you need both, this is what you're saying. You need both. But if you have that macro confidence, that can go a lot further than just having micro confidence. Well, and I think you might have opened up with this dose that from what you've seen in the research, if I'm correct, people tend to have or overly weighted on the micro versus the macro. Yes. And you would be surprised how many clients I ask. If you didn't have a job, got for bit, if your title got taken away, if your house got taken away, if your money got taken away, who are you? And they stare at me and they're like, I'm like, who are you? They're like, well, I'm a real estate agent. I'm like, no, that's a role. That's a career. Who are you? And they can't answer. They have to wait till they come back to the next coaching session. They're like, I need time to think about it. And when somebody does get to that answer, what are some of the examples that are not a role-based? It's usually things inside that you can't get in. I'm a confident person. I'm a confident, I'm kind, I'm resilient. I'm a woman that I'm proud to look at in the morning when I wake up. Right, it's those things that are inside that we have to find within, that we can't go get a degree or build a skill in. Is this like that Saturday at Life's Get, where they go? Dog-gun at people like me. I don't know, I haven't seen it. Some people know I'm talking about it. It's in the mirror and he says those positive affirmations to himself and then he ends it with. And dog-gun at people like me. That's funny. That's a good one. All right, so this is all very, very critical because without self-confidence, the macro-kind, like I'm going back to this word I wrote down, which is human potential. Like that's, it's the governor, right? Like on the gas pedal, it limits self-potential because if you don't have the confidence to continue to pursue, move forward. Yes, take action, take action. And that's not to say that you won't have self-doubt. That's not to say that you won't have fear, okay? So self-confidence is an eliminate, all of that. But what self-confidence does is it regulates your behaviors so that you don't sabotage yourself. So don't, you can have self-doubt, but don't let it sabotage you. I always say, you know, you can have fear. Let fear get in the car. But don't let fear take the wheel. Because the second that sucker takes the wheel, it's going to drive you into a wall or it's going to make you take a U-turn in a direction you don't want to go into. So let fear in the car, put the little seat belt on it. And say, you're going to stay right there and you keep your hands on the wheel and keep going even with fear next to you. So it's not about eliminating negative thoughts and self-doubt, it's about managing it so that it doesn't sabotage your movement forward. All right, so just popped in my head that old saying, do the thing you fear the most in the death of fear is certain. How do you feel about that? Say one more time for me. Do the thing you fear the most in the death of fear is certain. Mm. I don't know. I think I was frankly on Roosevelt. There's somebody, but. Yeah, I mean, I think people have fear in like a number of different areas, right? And most people today, the fear that they have is not, you know, like jumping off a building, it's fear that people are going to make fun of me. It's fear that I'm going to fail. It's fear that I'm not going to get, you know, what I want when I do A, B, C, and D, right? Again, it's all related to like the self. All right, and I may be asking this question again, but what are some of the tools or techniques? How do you help people, right, overcome that? Yeah, that's a great push. You didn't ask this, it's a great. So I have a blueprint for the four Bs that I'm going to break down for everybody here. Okay, cool. It's the hardest thing to do and doesn't happen overnight and you need to keep doing it. So like I know people say words of affirmation, that's great. But what you really need to do is break the behavior and the belief of where it's coming from. So the four Bs, the number one is the belief, okay? So what's the belief that you have that's getting in the way of your success? Now we have a ton of beliefs. So you can make a whole list of beliefs that you have that are getting in the way. I'm not good enough at my job. Nobody likes me as a leader because English is my second language. I'm giving things that I've heard real life from clients, right? I can't trust people because they're going to let me down. Therefore, like I micromanaged my team, right? So these are all these beliefs that people have that are getting in the way of their success. I can't be in a relationship because they're going to hurt me and they're going to cheat on me again, right? So these beliefs that we accumulate over time, what's the belief? Then the second B is the backstory. Where did that belief come from? And it might be from a number of places. It could be that something happened in your childhood that made you not feel good enough. And then you went on to your first relationship and something happened and then it validated that not feeling good enough. And then you went to your first job and you had a leader that wasn't amazing and then it revalidated that not feeling good enough, right? So really try to understand what's the backstory of the belief. Now the third B is the most important. What's the behavior that it's causing? Is it causing you not to raise your hand in the meeting because you're scared? Is it causing you not to go out there and put yourself out there and network as a realistic agent because you're afraid to network or you're afraid of what people are going to think about you or you're afraid of putting yourself out there? Is it causing you not to be in a relationship? Is it like what's the behavior that it's creating and causing in you? And then the fourth B is now how do we break it? How do we break the belief so that we can shift the behavior? And I always say like, have a notebook by you and when a belief comes into your mind that's creating hesitation, write it down. Why do you have this belief? Where's it coming from? And how do you break it so that it doesn't make the behavior a negative behavior? It makes something that's for moving. That's, they're all interconnected. I can see I'm just looking at it. I wrote all four of them down, both of them are connected. Go ahead, Jeff. I was just going to add them up. Beliefs, backstory, behavior, and break it. Yeah. What most people don't really realize is that their behaviors are drastically shifted by their beliefs. And that's why oftentimes when companies come to us and they say, hey, we need you to work with our executive team or with our leaders because they're behaving in ways that aren't conducive to employee engagement or they're behaving in ways that just aren't great for the team. Oh, my, there's some beliefs in there. We need to break down some beliefs because the beliefs are what are what driving the behavior. Yeah, it's really fascinating when you get into this stuff, too. And I've spent a fair amount of time over the years doing some personal development and 100% agree with you. I mean, it just all, it just drives everything. And I've spent a fair amount of time also hanging out on what you call back story, also known as the story we tell ourselves over and over again about that thing, right? And that we need to be, we need it to be more self-aware. Like when we are responding to a situation or reacting based on some external stimulus, it's like, I've tried to train myself and be like, pause, look inside, hmm, why am I responding in that way to that situation? What's coming up for me, you know? And that's the emotional intelligence that you're talking about, right? That self-awareness, that self-management, the reflection, that's the first half of emotional intelligence which confidence falls under, right? So that's how important confidence is, is that in emotional intelligence, there's four pillars. Under those four pillars are 18 competencies. We could talk forever about this. But that first pillar is self-awareness and confidence is under that very first pillar. That's how important it is. It's right under that first pillar. Wow, that's really cool. That's really cool. This is the secret to life stuff right here. Oh yeah. All right, so this has been a nice, you know, crash course in how to become more confident and live your full potential. Yeah. Probably the title for this episode. Yes. Made it happen right here. All right, for those who want to connect with you more, how would they do that? Rise up for you everywhere, right? We'll rise up for you.com. They could go to our Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, rise up for you. They can also connect with me, Netalina, on Instagram and LinkedIn Facebook as well. Yep, and we got a book, Rise Up for you. Everything's under Rise Up for you. We made it super simple for everybody. And if it's okay, Geoff, I'd love to give a free gift to everyone with the four skills that we find are the most important, the human skills. Please do. Yeah. So it's riseupfood.com, Ford Slash Success Kit. And with all of our research, we found okay, what are the most important things that people need? The first is understanding the foundation of success for you. So we have a whole like video module on that. The second is all things confidence. The third is emotional intelligence. And the fourth is the power of your presence, speaking how you show up. So this success kit has all four of those modules and they're totally free for people to utilize and learn about. Fantastic. And I'm gonna make sure I put all the links to all your stuff in the show notes. Thank you. That free success kit. That's very generous of who we are grateful. And I think no matter what, people need to connect and engage with you, two times TEDx speaker. You've like you said, you're global, you're everywhere. Yeah, we're grateful for that. We're thankful. Congratulations. I want to thank you for making time out of your busy schedule to share your message of having more confidence in your life. Thank you so much. Thank you everybody. You bet. Listeners, you know what to do if you like this episode. First of all, get to the links in the show notes and then hey, leave us a review if you feel inclined. We'll see you on the next one. Bye for now. Hey guys, what's up real quick? You've heard about the mortgage marketing pro membership before and you just want to quickly remind you if that you're in a place in your business where you simply need more purchased loans. You need to fill your pipeline with purchase business. Let's just face it, agents are still a solid pillar of business and sources of purchase business for you. Well, good news. Our mortgage marketing pro membership helps loan officers like you close more loans without the hassle of chasing agents or cold calling. Done for you agent classes, expert training videos, a marketing automation platform that automates the entire process for you, everything you need to build your personal brand in your local market, attract and convert agents into referral partners. 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